i didn't have a facebook account until i was fourth year college (about two years ago), now i even have tumblr.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
i am happy that you are happy. no pretensions. now it is my time to be happy as well :)
sa tinagal tagal ng panahon, nadaan ulit ako sa lugar kung saan ko siya sinagot, sa may ccp complex. nakataxi kasi kami pauwi galing moa. dun yung daan ng taxi, naalala ko lahat. masaya. naisip ko bigla, wait lang hindi pwede toh. hindi na ako babalik pa sa mga alaala na iyon. pero masarap din pala balikan, kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko talaga makakalimutan. naaalala ko yung tao na yun, yung mga masasayang nangyari pero hindi ko na maalala kung paano yung pakiramdam na kasama siya. nakakamiss pero hindi ko na hinahanap pa ang mga panahong iyon. pero natatakot kasi ako baka biglang hindi pa pala ako okay. paano kung kainin ko lahat ng sinabi ko?ang daya naman kasi, imagine in a relationship, paano ka makakamove on ng mabilis kung sa inyong dalawa eh siya yung nagmove on with a new relationship, at ikaw yung iniwan? paano ka magmomove on kung hindi ka ready magmoveon nung time na iniwan ka? kelangan ba lagi kang ready mawala yung tao para hindi ka masaktan? paano kung hindi mo naman ginustong mawala siya? nakakatakot ang pangyayari kanina, parang biglang kinalabit na naman ako ng kahapon. parang nasa iyo na eh, everything seemed perfect kaya lang nawala pa. iniisip ko tamang tama lang yung breakup, i needed it eh. overdue pa nga. i really needed that space to be away from him pero at the same time kasi feeling ko kapag nawala pa siya hindi na mangyayari pa ulit eh. kaya nung nakipagbalikan siya, binalikan ko naman. naisip ko aalis naman sya so i will have time for myself, to fix things. hindi ko kayang magdesisyon na tapusin na. nagdesisyon akong hayaan lang at bahala na kung kami. wala akong ginawa. pero dahil hindi ako nagdesisyon, mas masakit pa pala. siya yung nagdesisyon na iwan ko. nung time na yun masaya ako na malungkot, masaya kasi sa wakas natapos na yung paghihirap ko sa pagaalala ko sa kanya, natapos na ang mindgames kung matatapos na ba talaga. pero malungkot din, kasi pakiramdam ko siya na yung para sa akin. matapos ang iyakan, pagddivert ng attention at matagal na panahon…naintindihan ko din. wala akong ginawa, kasalanan ko man pero nung time na down ako at pilit kong ayusin ang sarili ko, nangiwan siya eh. dumating sa akin yung time na gulong gulo ang isip ko na parang walang patutunguhan ang buhay ko, na lahat ng plano ko back in college nawala, parang gusto ko bumuo ng bagong pangarap na kasama siya dun. siya lang pinanggagalingan ko ng lakas. pero nung time na inaayos ko na yung sarili ko at alam ko na unti unti ang gusto ko, tsaka naman siya nawala. hindi ko talaga siya masisi pero sa wakas hindi ko na din talaga sinisisi sarili ko. hindi ko naman kaya bigay mga gusto niya at ayusin ang mga mali samin kasi mas gusto kong ayusin sarili ko, itama yung mga maling ginawa ko. pero worse lang, niloko pa ako. ngayon okay na ulit buhay ko, tapos na ang mga panahong hindi ko alam gagawin ko sa buhay ko. at nabuo ko na ulit ang pangarap ko na wala siya, yung lahat ng iyon ako lang. ang sarap nung feeling na i’m back, i’m my old self again and a new person at the same time. ang sarap nung nakilala ko ulit sarili ko, nastraightened out ko ang values and beliefs ko. kaya kahit siguro naiisip ko siya, mayabang ako na okay na ako kasi i myself decided na i’m done, same decision making that i did when i decided to be with him years ago. tapos na ang katangahan days ko na i want him back. pero hindi naman ako galit din. turned out, hindi ako magagalit galit sa kanya pero nalabas ko yung galit ko in other ways.
no hay aplicación en mi telefono movil para traducción, pues en lugar de aplicación, usar navegador, busco la pagina de web para traducción y pongo marcador en mi movil. estoy contenta.
two or three years ago, back when i was fourth year college, i read a korean american novel for a class but i never finished reading it. i forgot the title and the name of the writer but i didn’t forget casey and how she reads the gospel for the day and writes something about it. i said then that i would do the same, but i never did until now. oh i just googled it, and it is Min Jin Lee’s Free Food for Millionaires.
hay una luz que nunca se apaga. por una vez, uso google traductor para corregir traduzco que las palabras. que bien.
Everyday of 2012 will be amazing! I promise that, plus less ot :)
I downloaded the app for tumblr on my blackberry, but it is too slow so i deleted it then used the web instead of my bb phone. i hope i can get a modem/router from globe, if not then i will buy a router so i can setup wifi connection. currently m using 3g network on my bb and i rarely use this, kapag bored lang or badtrip and i only have my bb with me. 3g internet is fast but i want to use my itouch. i want to try facetime and skype using my itouch. i call my itouch white touch cause i bought a white gel case for her, it’s the first device that i bought and it’s really nice. i havent use it a lot to be honest cause im not really into gadgets. but i love her and i treasure her, now i always listen to katy’s songs using my touch, i also watch movie there and i will read ebooks there as well. what im mostly using is my bb. i call my bb, bb angela or white bunny because of her bunny case. she helped me to recover from a breakup by getting in touch with friends. she is subscribed to a plan from globe and so i never run out of load. im always online fb, twitter whenever i want. my bb also helps me with my spanish class. i always have internet access anywhere i can get 3g signal. sometimes i watch youtube here, browse the net or check fb or twitter updates. i love bbm, you can easily send pic and voice notes to someone. i am not wishing for any more gadgets aside from a laptop cause i always lose my files on our desktop. i want to have a comp of my own but not now cause i dont really need it, maybe by the time that i started school again, not spanish classes alone i mean. and to be honest if you know how i use my touch and bb, you’ll say that im not using it that much…and ur right, there’s just no time for it. but i love them, they are my stress reliever. and thats why m writing here right now, m actually stressed and i cant sleep and i still have work later by 8. goodluck to me.
i know we don’t like each other, but you got me thinking of you every now and then. you got me kilig when i least expect it. i consider you as a good friend but one day, i was walking and you occupied my mind and i smiled. there at that moment i felt kilig for the first time again. i’m not going to admit this to you ever, i don’t plan to. i may regret this, but then maybe i won’t. cause there’s no point in admitting this. i don’t have any expectations of getting together with you. this is not like an overwhelming feeling that i need you to know. but i want to say i got scared, i admit of course that i’m scared that you are not feeling the same thing. but i’m more scared of knowing that what i’m feeling is real and i don’t want it. you are great, i admire you actually. you are wonderful. you are so cute, esp when you smile. you are different. and i’m just happy that after a long time, it feels good to get kilig again. i smile every time i hear a particular song, i don’t have it on my playlist so i just randomly hear it somewhere, like when i open the tv, radio or when i ride a jeepney. i don’t have like a secret desire for you or what!, it was like a late reaction actually. i wasn’t noticing what your presence is doing to me. i don’t know how you see me, but i know you’ve seen me so hurt last time as everyone did. i wish i can buzz you and say: hey guess what i’m over my ex, finally. and i’m very sure about it. but i have lots of things going on right now like you. i’m starting my life all over again. i enjoy being single, do things alone and do lots of firsts. i will enjoy my single life until i find the one for me and i hope you find yours as well and this time i know things will be better. but i’d rather not tell. i know you’ll be doing great. i’m very confident about it. :)
i’m thinking of writing my gym addiction to track what’s happening. but nah. i just wanna say like how hard it is to do crunches and first time i did it after so many years, unforgettable. I’ve grown a bit fat. erase that, I’ve grown so fat and i don’t like it. two days after my first gym after a long time, whatever i do, whenever i lie down to bed, or even just laugh, i can feel it, my tummy hurts. tolerable pain but second day at the gym, it was so painful, i almost couldn’t do crunches. third day, i did it. it was so hard, i’m on the point of giving up but it’s addicting at the same time. i have my hands forming an x in front of my chest, and i was lying down without reaching the bar then i will carry myself back up. it was like i’m separating my upper body with my lower body and putting it back again. it was painful and i want it. i would rest for a while after doing some sets then go back to it again, and do it again. it was addicting.
successful! a message that i received on my email. i purchased an online voucher to do laser hair removal for P300. I bought two, and I’m gonna pay it tom! Online banking would be easier but to register a third party i still need to visit the nearest bank, so i opted to pay it at sm instead. if in case, it’s just a scam, not a problem it’s just six hundred pesos. but of course i hope not!! haha. excited!!! tom, i will have my appt for foot spa then i’m gonna pay what i purchased. don’t know what to do yet after, maybe i’ll watch a movie or eat at sr thai. i’m not sure yet but i’m gonna date myself tom. :) pay day, can you meet me tom? i need you and my money!
